The Will

In a series of days that held the bluest skies I'd seen in a while, I found myself feeling pretty blue as well.  Sometimes, things just don't go my way.  Imagine that, right?  What happens to us when we get something in our heads?  It seems as though all reason falls victim to reckless abandon.  You want something in particular, and deeply and truly believe that it will be yours.  You imagine your life with it.  You entertain yourself and find great happiness imagining that you possess that one thing, that thing that will change your life and make everything beautiful and sunny.  It's a good thing, a great thing, a make everything okay thing...but wait, maybe it's not the best thing.  

Whoa!  

Where did that come from?  
What do you mean it's not the best??? 
I have to wait???  
You've got to be kidding...this is SO unfair!   
It wasn't until yesterday that I found the perspective I'd been lacking my entire life regarding this particular situation.  I was able to find calm and peace as I prayed to God...this is not what you're supposed to do right now, but by no means does that make it unreachable.  The time will come, especially if that's the direction you are truly meant to traverse.  A negative outlook can overshadow some of the most important things in your life.  Think about it; how many times in your life have you been able to look back and truly see that a specific event led you somewhere great and life changing?  Personally, there have been multiple times in my life that things seemed so terrible, and I felt that I would never overcome the obstacles placed before me.  Yet now, I look at those times and praise God.  That event shifted my path, my focus and my desire. I am here now, undeservedly blessed because my complacent axis was shifted.  So...timing is crucial.  It's God's will, not mine, that holds true and unrelenting.  My first instinct in this particular situation was absolutely correct.  For now, I will stay on track, and finish the task that God has put before me.  What lies at the end of this path, I don't know, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be even better than what I expect.  

Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.

Proverbs 16:20

Back to School

My version of "The Thinker"

I find myself sitting in the library at Eastern, in my last semester's favorite hiding spot, once again.  In my break between classes I took a detour to walk around and check everyone out.  I find that the only thing that has changed since I was a freshman in 2001 is me.  But hey, 10 years is quite a long time for life to take it's inevitable course.  Looking around, I momentarily wished that I could turn back time...get that "re-do" that everyone longs for.  Yet as that moment passed, I realized this is where I was always meant to be, scars and all.  As the sun shined on faces I passed, I could only dream of what God has planned for them, and for me.  The more understanding I have of myself, the farther away all the wrong I've done in my life seems.  I see these young faces and can feel my heart breaking. 

Will they choose the right path? 
Will they have regrets like me?
Will they give up like I did then?  If so, will they find their second chance? 
When they see their 28th birthday, will they look back and feel proud?

Back to school cool!

I've been through valleys, up hill and down, much like you have I'm sure.  Through the years we will all see loss, disappointment, contentment, pain and hopefully sheer happiness.  As the Lord lights the steps of my way I pray yours shine too.  I am living proof that God allows u-turns if you find you are going the wrong way.  With age comes understanding; there is more than one way.  I remain in awe of God's providence, especially when I can remember times that I thought my world was perfect, and times I thought it was ending.  Perspective is important to capturing joy, and holding tight to it even when it storms.